Now as we say goodbye
To one of our own
We may be lonely
But we’re not alone
Though the leaves will fall
And the tears will flow
May it always comfort us to know
The family tree will always grow
— Christopher Lennon, John Vester, Mark Lennon,
Michael Lennon, The Family Tree
Jerry LaStone Cottrell, 1934-2016
This isn’t the post that The Legal Genealogist planned for today.
But life has a way of doing that, doesn’t it? Tossing us curveballs. Unexpected twists and turns. Even grief on a day of thanksgiving. Maybe especially grief on a day of thanksgiving.
And I am so very thankful today for the life of one Jerry LaStone Cottrell.
My Uncle Jerry.
Born 10 July 1934 in Midland, Texas.
And … sigh … died 22 November 2016.
We got the news yesterday from his home in Tennessee. It appears to have been quick and painless. He sat down in his chair and when his wife went to wake him … well … he had gone to that rest from which there is no awakening.
Jerry… gone.
Laughing, singing, guitar- and banjo-playing Jerry.
Jerry, who once rescued a kitten from my way-too-intense four-year-old attentions by swapping it out for “a fresh one.”
Jerry who, when asked for stories of times he and his sister Marianne got in trouble to share at her funeral, responded gleefully, “Honey, we were always in trouble!”
Jerry, who — my memory tells me — is a dark-haired straight-backed young man.
Jerry, who — when last I saw him — was white-haired and frail.
Jerry, who turned 82 this summer.
I can barely wrap my head around him looking like this:
And now I have to wrap my head around Jerry — gone.
There are so many Jerry stories… My personal favorite has always been the time when my grandmother laid down the law after dinner one day. “The next person to criticize my cooking,” she told everyone, “gets to do the cooking from now on.” The very next morning, at breakfast, it was Jerry — about eight years old at the time — who uttered the words: “This gravy is salty!” The entire table grew silent. My grandmother stared at the boy. It took him a second to realize just what he’d done. He looked up, got that smile on his face and — being Jerry — did what he had to do. He said: “And that’s just the way I like it.”
Jerry… who always lived life to the fullest.
Jerry… for whose life I will always be so thankful.
And may whatever he’s dealing with now be just the way he likes it.
My condolences to you and your family.
Thanks, Laurie…
The loss of aunts and uncles are painful. I am sorry to hear that you lost your wonderful uncle. A nice tribute.
Thanks so much, Barbara. Yes, these are painful losses and only getting worse as time goes by. My mother was one of 12 children, 10 of whom lived to adulthood. There are now just three left…
My mum passed over about a year and a half ago. I found this poem online right after that. And then, in a letter my mum wrote well in advance of that, she quoted it as well. I leave it for you, to remember whenever you need to, anyone you need to.
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped away
into the next room.
I am I,
and you are you;
whatever we were to each other,
that, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
speak to me in the easy way
which you always used,
put no difference in your tone,
wear no forced air
of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we shared together.
Let my name ever be
the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect,
without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all
that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you,
for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just around the corner.
All is well.
That’s love very, Kathleen– thank you.
Tis hard to lose loved ones and this time of the year it is even harder. So sorry for your loss. Looks like he lived a full life, remember the good times.
We can’t help but remember the good times… with Jerry, they were pretty much all good times.
So sorry for your loss, Judy. Virtual hugs being sent your way.
Thanks so much.
Judy, I’m sorry to learn of your loss. But glad to know you’ll be with family to celebrate him in some small way. Sounds like a life well lived.
Thanks… it certainly was a life fully lived.
So very sorry for your loss. I lost my last and favorite aunt in February who delighted in sitting with me to talk about the family tree. So many stories gone but I am grateful for the ones I gathered and the memories we shared. I know you will cherish those of your uncle.
That gratitude for the time we did have is what carries us through…
I am so sorry for your loss Judy. Hopefully, you will find comfort in the stories we always tell around the family table.
Thanks so much, Karen.
So sorry to read of your loss. Hugs from me.
Thanks, Helen.
My condolences, Judy. Loved the memory about the salty gravy!
Thanks, Tom. Much appreciated.
Sorry for your loss, Judy. It’s a wonderful tribute.
Thanks so much.
So hard to loose a beloved member of the family. Sorry to read of your loss.
Thanks so much, Christine.
Lovely words Judy!
Thanks, Shawn. Happy Thanksgiving– tell your kids to give you an extra hug from your cousins…
So thankful you have such wonderful memories of your Uncle Jerry to comfort you at this time. Thank you for blessing us with stories of Jerry. Big hug for you.
Thanks so much… these losses never get any easier…
I’m so sorry, Judy. It sounds like he had a good life and he will be missed.
Thanks so much, Wendy.
I’ve often been amazed as I read your blog, Judy, as to how our lives seem to track. Sadly this one really hit home as my Uncle Tom, the last of my Mom’s eleven siblings passed away last week. He too was “a dark-haired straight-backed young man”, who we were blessed to have in this world for 89 joyous years. I share your grief. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.
So sorry for your loss, Cathy — and so hard to lose these last ones…
Although I never got to meet your uncle Jerry, I feel this loss as well. I think my sadness when family that I have never met pass on to the next phase of living, it makes me more sad that I never got to meet them. I always have a hope of meeting them someday while they are living. Their passing severs that hope and I have no memories to sustain me. So sorry for your loss.
I wish you had been able to meet him, Mary Ann — you two would have loved each other…
Jerry is “up there” sharing his Jerry-ness. Others are grateful for him now.
We’re all grateful for him…
My condolences, Judy. May your happy memories bring much peace and comfort.
Thanks so much, Miriam.
Thank you for sharing, Judy. Thoughts are for you and your family today. uncles are pretty special people.
They are special indeed, and losing them sure hurts. Thanks/
Judy, So sorry to hear about the loss of your Uncle Jerry, my heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
Thanks, Lisa. Much appreciated.
Judy so sorry to hear this. We had a UHP officer struck here this week, he died yesterday. A wife and three little boys. I thought of them and their family this morning. A death on any holiday is a tough way to remember them. I’m so glad your uncle had a good full life, my condolences to you and your family.
So very hard to suffer a loss in this season, David, but yes we had Jerry for a full full life and it’s harder still when it’s a life cut so short. Those little boys… so very hard.
Judy, I am so terribly sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Elizabeth.
A beautiful tribute Judy! Good memories are a treasure; hold them close.
Thanks, LaBrenda. Much appreciated.
Jerry sounds like a guy with great humor, and a person who loved his family, friends, and his time on earth.
Wishing peace and comfort to your Uncle Jerry’s loved ones.
Thanks so much for your kindness, Kevin.
So sorry Judy. What wonderful memories you have.
Thanks, my friend. Those memories are what see us through.
Heartfelt condolences. Your tribute to your uncle was beautiful, and he sounds like a special man. What a gift it was to have him in your life, and what a gift you have given us all by sharing your lovely tribute. Thank you.
Thanks so much for the kind words.
I’m sorry for your loss, Judy. Would you consider providing the link to “The handful” so that others can see more about Uncle Jerry?
Thanks, Ruth, and for the invitation as well. I wrote about a Jerry on his birthday this year in a post entitled “The handful.”
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You have great memories and that is what you need to hold unto. Hugs!
Thanks so much, Vicki.
Thank you for sharing your love and memories of your Uncle Jerry with all of us, Judy. I’m sorry for the ache in your heart.
Thanks for the kind words. Much appreciated.
Uncle Jerry sounds like a real character…you will miss him but what wonderful memories he’s left behind for you to treasure. Quick witted too, as an eight year old. Hugs.
Thanks so much, Pauleen. We do have great memories, for sure.
I’m glad you have good memories. When all is said and done, that’s what we have (well, maybe some photos, too), and if they are good ones, then of course, the person really does live on.
Thanks for the kind words, Lisa. Much appreciated.