Marking the mortal milestones
It happened for the first time on the 12th of January 2005.
On that day, The Legal Genealogist had lived more days, more months, more years than an immediate forebear.
My father’s father — the German grandfather I had never met — died before I was born and, on that day in 2005, I had passed him by in terms of longevity.
It happened again, in 2007, when I outlived the German grandmother I had never met — she too died before I was born.
Neither of those milestones resonated all that much, frankly. They’d been fairly young when they died, and I never knew them.
Years went by.
And then it was my maternal grandfather. I had grown up knowing him, having him in my life. Here it was, August of 2023, and I had lived longer than he had.
Just a little more than a month later, in early October, it was my father. I was older then than he was when he died.
And yesterday, just yesterday, it was my mother: I was older as of yesterday than my mother was when she died.
I have now lived longer — more days, more months, more years — than five of my six immediate ancestors, longer than both of my parents and three of my four grandparents.
And despite being in overall good health, and feeling reasonably spry (despite knees that announce themselves more often than not), it is a sobering thought.
It kind of puts time into perspective: it’s not unlimited, no matter what we do.
And it helps with goal-setting for sure.
Mine is to live more days and months and years than the sixth of my six immediate ancestors.
My maternal grandmother, Opal Robertson Cottrell, was 96 years, six months and 25 days old when she died.
That’s a goal that sounds about right to me.
Cite/link to this post: Judy G. Russell, “The passing of time,” The Legal Genealogist (https://www.legalgenealogist.com/blog : posted 22 Apr 2024).
Excellent goal… I’m looking forward to reading many more years of your inspiring posts, Judy. As for me – my maternal grandmother, great-grandmother, and 2nd great-grandmother lived fairly long lives: 94, 98, 102 years. The men – not quite so long, although my paternal great-grandfather lived to a respectable active 92. I joke with my friends and kids that, as i’m turning 81 in a few weeks, I have at least 2 decades left. Fascinating thought – what do I want to do with those 2 decades-? Hmmmm…
You never know so live your days to the fullest! Mine lived from 59-97 (my Dad). Hard to plan but trying.
My goal is to outlive my paternal grandmother who lived to be 92. Her grandmother lived to be 98 (1814-1912) 76 and counting.
It’s a difficult goal for me. My aunt is still alive at 102 years old.
That DNA passed down from Opal just might get you into your 90’s. But, it can be a struggle with the best of DNA. An Aunt Vera on my cousins side of the family was one of the sweetest ladies I ever met. SKinny as a rail, married but never had children. Lived to 112, walked by herself until 103, broke a hip and went to a wheelchair. At 110 her great grandaughter brought her the daily pills which was blood pressure and vitamins. She refused the vitamins, her grandaughter asked why? She responded “I will never die if I keep takin those darn things” and she only took the blood pressure pill until her passing. It is possible to get tired of living maybe?
My father’s goal was to get to 90 and be the oldest male in either his mother’s or father’s families. He made it and then began to fade and was gone three months later. Mom was 83 when she died, and two grandparents were also in their mid-80’s, but I’m almost 14 years past the other two, who died in their 50’s. I don’t want or need to live as long as any of the others.
Wishing you health and longevity as you make every day count!
Question: What are the 10 most important years of your life?
Answer: The next 10.
Question: What are the 10 most important years of your life?
Answer: The next 10.
ABSOLUTELY. my mantra for some years has been “the future is a big place”
I hope you make it… don’t know what we’d do without you!
And I thought I was the only one who did this (rather naive of me, I know). Maybe there’s a word for it. Hmm.
Ever since I was approaching my mother’s death age (56, pancreatic cancer), it’s been even more present in my mind, comparing my current age to the lifespan of close relatives. I still have both my grandmothers’ and my father’s lifespans to surpass (all were in their 80s); I’m closing in on one grandfather’s (the other one died 10 years younger than I am now of heart disease- lots of red meat and cigars is my guess).
I just realized a month or so ago that I’m a year younger than my mother’s only sister when she had a stroke and then died a year later. But then there’s my uncles (from 79-88) and, of course, the great-grands…
So, knock on wood, I have a couple of good decades left, if not more. And yet, to paraphrase “Hamilton,” why do I read/research/organize like I’m running out of time?
The only one I really thought about was living longer than my mother, because she died young, barely reaching 54. It haunted me and preyed on my mind. When I reached 55, it was like a weight off my shoulders.
We were just talking about this phenomenon. It seems to be seriously problematic for people whose parents died young, and, as Janice said, it can be a relief when they make it past that point.
Thanks for this, Judy. My Mom died at 95, and I am going for it!
My Mother use to tell me about what she called the family’s ‘Kennedy Curse’. We’ve had 9 Kennedys’ who died before 40, starting with my Great-grandfather at 38, his son at 32, and his son at 26. Most recently, my nephew at 35. So yeah, I made it past all of them.
I thank God for rest of my Kennedy brothers (lost one at 33), cousins, Uncles and other relatives who have made it past 40.
My father died at age 35….and I have often thought of all that he missed and how precious every year has been for me since I passed that milestone decades ago. I, too, hope that there are many more years of Judy Russell in all of our lives!
Hi Stan Baker,
I have met several people who became tired of living.
But look at the flip side. Many did not have things around to take interest in.
More recently, for people who we had some power to provide interest for, we did that, as much as we could, but it can be a challenge.
I do know many people for whom family history is an interest that does give purpose, especially for those volunteering in this sector.